On Google, if you typed in Dumbledore's Army Roleplay Wikia, it should say, 'warning, broken hearts and nights crying await you'. I'm now regretting ever joining DARP if no users see the bloody hard work I've been putting in.
But before I go into my rant, I have to give a little bit of background. On July 6, 1999, my mom went into labor with me. I was stuck in the birth canal and the doctors tried to keep me alive, but with that came one thing. A traumatic brain injury was inflicted when I came out, but sadly, that's all anyone seems to see. I had a hard life growing up, dealing with bullies, and just generally struggling.
No one seems to see the work I've put in through my eighteen years of life. Newsflash, I worked with an Occupational Therapist for 17 years, and a counselor for eleven years. I am on an anti-anxiety/depression medicine that I started June of 2017, and I feel lighter than what I was formerly.
But, now, that feeling is fading fast. I'm trying to grow up and mature, and not repeat the same mistakes I made in 2014-2016... but it's like all of my mistakes just follow me.
You all don't understand the hard work I've put in, and you all don't see how I've changed. You all need to FORGET my mistakes, and you all just need to see how hard I work. But, you all just don't see that. I've been better than any other time in my entire life, but you all just keep breaking me down.
I AM BLOODY SICK of this. I work my ASS OFF! And what do you all think you see? You all just see the code-stealing immature passive-aggressive user that I was. THAT'S NOT WHO I AM ANYMORE.
You need to let me relax, and let me be able to trust you with the truth, of who I am as a person. I am highly sensitive as a person, and I am very trusting and loyal, but you all just don't see that. I keep a wall up because otherwise, I'd be forced to leave within two weeks, but I DON'T LEAVE.
And do you all know why that is? Because I believe in the good in everyone. But no one seems to prove me right on that. You all, no longer am I the one changing.
YOU are the ones who need to change for the better. I'm tired of always working and always changing. You all have ONE more chance from me before I decide to leave/take a break from DARP.