PROCLAMATION EDUCATIONAL DECREE 02 This page is an shoparchive. Please do not edit the contents of this page. Direct any additional comments to the current talk page or contact an administrator for aid if no talk page exists.
He nodded. "Yeah... Elle and I have been... having conversations about our relationship, and where we think it's going... marriage has come up..." he paused, trying to figure out how to word it. "Timing always seems to be the big question mark. We both know we'd like to get married, but at the same time, we know that now isn't the right time. So... I guess.... how'd you know when you wanted to propose to Charity?"
He'd smile slightly, remembering. "Well...like I said I knew when I met her...so we got to know each other better...with some definite faux pas along with way...and when I knew I wanted to come home to her every day, I popped the question."
He'd frown slightly. "That was definitely part of it...but we sat here for a bit working on her application for St. Mungos, and just the way she talked about wanting to help people and...her charm made me fall in love with her."
"...but every relationship is different. I think on our first actual date, charity and I talked about how we were both looking for something serious, and not just a fling...something that would end in marriage at some point. You and Elle have had quite a different relationship." He'd pause. "How did you know when the time was right with Carmen?"
"Because we had this discussion a few weeks ago. I promised her that when it felt like the time was right, that I would propose. But she got all caught up in this 'how can we know, what if the moment did come and we didn't acknowledge it' train of thought, and.... it was hard to pull her out of that."
He'd smile and nod. "Alright...so what do you need to do to get from your current position into your ideal one? You don't have to have a whole plan...just some general steps, or a list of objectives even that would help move you from the former into the latter."
He'd nod. "So, that's what you've got to figure out. What's she looking for that will turn her reluctance into jubilation. Is it a special proposal? Is it the ring? Maybe she's just waiting for you to propose and trying to speed things along...or maybe she needs more time to feel comfortable. If that's the case, what will make her more comfortable with it? ...and I know this might sound obvious, but the best way to find this out is to pay attention to her. When girls talk they usually communicate a lot more than just what their words say. Listen to the subtext. What's going on in her life that might make her hesitate, then try to make it not a factor." He'd give a small grin. "I'll be honest, we use the same type of strategies in business, but I've found they apply equally well to women."
He'd chuckle. "More often then they need to know about." He'd smile. "It's a good life lesson to remember that girls are different than we are. They think differently, feel differently, and make decisions differently. As men we tend to forget that, or discount it...usually because we want to be lazy and not expend the energy to try to keep up with it. That's the mistake a lot of guys make...they don't want to put in the time or effort to really understand a woman."
He'd nod. "Depending on how that goes you could just up and ask her. Elle's always been a...pretty up front person. It might ruin it if you'd planned to surprise her...but it may be what you need to do."
He'd shake his head. "Not sure...in her own time. I think it's at least partially my fault. Even before we were married I told her I'd like Elmira to find someone else to teach so I could be at home...and I say the same thing every summer...and every fall I'm back. I think...maybe she feels like she has to do it because apparently I can't."
- "Pain is only weakness leaving the body." Message Me - 21:03, December 16, 2016 (UTC)
He finishes cleaning the jar and puts it away. He throws the dishrag over his shoulder and sighs, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a long metal chain necklace with dog tags on the end. His dad's.
- "Pain is only weakness leaving the body." Message Me - 21:26, December 16, 2016 (UTC)
"He was in the United States Marine Corp," he replies. "Till he was given a medical discharge after being paralyzed from the waist down. He was given the Purple Heart and Medal of Honor, though," he says and sighs. "Fat lot of good that did him when the mesothelioma set in."
- "Pain is only weakness leaving the body." Message Me - 21:32, December 16, 2016 (UTC)
"Somewhere in my family tree there's an Army guy," he says with a slight smile. "Military service runs in the family, so there's probably all five branches in there somewhere. I've got a number of friends whose parents were in the US Armed Forces as well. The Army gal left a while back though."
- "Pain is only weakness leaving the body." Message Me - 21:00, December 19, 2016 (UTC)
He rubs the back of his neck. "I had one. I'm pretty sure things are over between us, though... she knows where I work and seems to be avoiding it. Probably because I told her via owl. Not like I had much choice though. The circumstances that dictated I drop out were very sudden so going back to Hogwarts wasn't an option."