So, I was born in the city of Westminster, which explains this horrifically
accent. My parents were just completely normal Muggles - my mum worked as a dentist (despite the fact she hates wobbly teeth) and my dad was a dog trainer (despite the fact he hates dogs). I'm an only child - anymore of me and my parents would be sat in the corner, rocking. I was a bit of a hyperactive child. My favourite pranks included swapping the cream in the middle of Oeros for toothpaste, covering onions in toffee and passing them off as toffee apples and rolling donughts in baby powder and saying it was icing. I was always a joy
"I grew up a Muggle, with no idea of my magical skills. And to be honest, being a Muggle is not that bad. I mean, they have the internet. And ballpoint pens. And electric fireplaces. And reality television shows. But trust me - Muggle schools are not fun. I hated school. I wasn't very good at sport, I wasn't academic, so if I'm crap at everything I knew I had to do drama. I was going to do it, I was going to audition for every play my school put on. And every single play that I auditioned for, I learned my lines, I gave it my all! And every single play I auditioned for, the Mr Perfect who sat next to me got the lead role, and I got cast as Villager Six - the prat who had to stand in the corner of the stage, and do nothing for an hour and a half, whilst his parents looked on ashamed! That's not to say I didn't throw myself into these roles - when I was playing Villager Six, I would give it my all! Alas, no. The other thing they had to do - and this happened on several occasions: the school was forced to write parts in for me so my parents wouldn't complain! Do you realise how humiliating that is? When you're stood with all your peers in front of a cast list, and yeah, my name was on it, but everyone knows that there is no emu in the Nativity! I looked like a prat!"
"I'm not bitter, I promise. You know, that's another good thing about Muggles. I was sat next to Mr Perfect, who got all the lead roles and had a girlfriend and aced tests; but we know that after graduation, Mr Perfect will have made his mistakes. And now, with Facebook, I can find the bastard."
"Okay, enough about my miserable school life. I find out I was a wizard when I was fourteen, after I may or may not have accidentally flattened someone without touching them. Well, they deserved it. My letter came the very next day - I guess Hogwarts forgot about me. I was sorted into Ravenclaw, and thus begun the three years of my decent education."